The Things I Do For Love Crossover Version
by StevieCass
Summary: Not as much a crossover as a huge cameo of GO chars in a Destiel story. Aziraphale seems to be the only one to help Castiel with the huge problem of Dean's straightness and Castiel's gender. Fluff, awkward times, Destiel, suggested A/C, brief fem!Cas. Probably suitable for Destiel shippers who haven't read Good Omens. I think.


_**Prelude**_

"_My dear, do me a favour and say that again"._

"_I want to know how you got a body of your own"._

_Aziraphale crosses his legs, takes a sip of his tea and leans back on his comfy cushion chair. His little brother has always been a surprise._

**Characters:** Castiel, Aziraphale, Dean and Sam Winchester, Adam Young, A. J. Crowley

**Pairing: **Dean/Castiel, suggested A/C

**Warnings: **Spoilers for the Good Omens ending, I guess, and of S05 of Supernatural. Brief genderswap (fem!Castiel). Fluff and awkwardness.

**Timing: **Alternative 2012, I guess. Both Apocalypses (is that even a word?) have happened. I'm putting the Good Omens Apocalypse to have taken place in the year that the book was written. Aziraphale still has his bookstore. Castiel is finally having some quiet time. I'm actually not counting a lot of things after the end of Season 5. Cas is back, the Winchesters are fine, end of story.

**A/N: **Hello again! :D I'm back with something a little bit funnier. I apologise for not taking the time to continue my WoD fic, but you can't stop inspiration. I promise you, though, I'm working on the big fic at the same time.

FYI, I think this is a very friendly fic to people who haven't read Good Omens and are here only about the Destiel. This isn't as much a crossover as a HUGE cameo of Good Omens characters in a Destiel story. I think you won't be missing stuff, I've tried to give you all the info you need – and, to avoid confusion, there's a demon named Crowley in Good Omens, too. For the people who haven't read GO, its characters could as well be OCs. The people who actually have read Good Omens, though, are more likely to enjoy the fic.

The biggest challenge of all was to write about the adult version of Adam. I think it went well, though. Or at least, I hope so.

If you combine the two universes, and since it's stated that Aziraphale is a Principality, it seemed good to make him something like Cas' big brother. I've seen many people saying that Cas is probably a Seraph, but after looking it up, he seems to me more like an Archangel. He's not that extra-powerful to be a Seraph and, frankly, his heavenly duties match an Archangel's pretty well. So the brother thing seems to work out fine. I hope I don't get any Aziraphale/Castiel shippers because that is not my intention at all.

Anyway here it is! Enjoy :)

…**London – Aziraphale's bookstore…**

Aziraphale is a Principality. He has been living on Earth –more specifically, London – for many, many centuries. He enjoys it too much to go back to Heaven. He is considered somehow eccentric by humans and angels alike, but he's much too positive and optimistic to let that get to him. When he was back in Heaven, though, he used to enjoy spending time with some of his brothers. He had taken interest in a young Archangel very early, and had taken him –how did humans say it? Oh, yes – under his wing. He likes that expression.

Young Castiel has always been Aziraphale's favourite. Aziraphale has been travelling to Earth since forever, and Castiel has always been curious about that strange place; back then, he liked to watch, but was far too scared to come closer. He had followed Aziraphale a couple of times, but he was more of a listener than a traveller. It was easier for him to follow their Father's orders while in Heaven. The two angels kind of lost contact after Aziraphale moved to Earth permanently. Of course, his duties as a Principality had always been far too different from Castiel's; Aziraphale is a guardian, Castiel is a soldier. But that didn't stop them from learning about each other's news and pay some visits every now and then. Castiel never forgot his tutor and friend, and he always managed to send him some messages. Aziraphale, on the other hand, popped back in Heaven every now and then and told Castiel the craziest stories from down there; Castiel had always believed Aziraphale was making up half of them to make them more interesting, but when he finally came to Earth himself for a long time, he made a mental note to apologise to his brother for not believing him.

Last time they saw each other was back in '89, when the Apocalypse was averted. Castiel hadn't the chance to congratulate Aziraphale for the part he had played in it. The garrisons of angels didn't even have the time to come down to Earth, and the whole thing was already over. It took less than a week. In the meantime, though, Aziraphale had been accidentally banished back to Heaven for a while; it was the last time Castiel saw him, and that didn't really count. Aziraphale had left in a great hurry and travelled vessel-less until the end of the first Apocalypse, when, somehow, he somehow got a body of his own and no longer needed a vessel. Nobody in Heaven has found out how that happened, and in 23 years Aziraphale hasn't bothered to explain. Nobody ever asked. It had all been a strange case.

Most angels prefer to believe that that particular Apocalypse hasn't happened, and they count only the one of 2010 as "the one that actually was". Getting all your plans messed up by a 10-year-old really does something to your self-esteem as a celestial super-being.

With the second Apocalypse having come to an end, and with it being the first chance that Castiel has got to have some time to himself – that, of course, he has no idea what to do with –, he decides to go and visit his older brother in London. He has been thinking about it for a while, but the events of last night make him take the decision.

Castiel decides to respect his brother's earthly preferences and act a little human for the occasion, so he zaps outside Aziraphale's bookstore in London and actually uses the door. Aziraphale looks up from his desk as the little bell over his door rings, announcing the newcomer, and it doesn't take him more than a second to recognise the angel inside the stubbly, awkward man in the trench coat. He hugs Castiel warmly, babbling excitedly, invites him inside for tea and closes the shop.

They spend a lot of time exchanging stories from Earth. Aziraphale congratulates Castiel for his actions in the recent Apocalypse and he asks for details about his life now, after all this. He has lost most his connections with Heaven, but nobody up there complains about it, because he still does his job pretty well. They talk and talk until the sky outside goes pitch black.

And sometime, Castiel decides to ask about what he wants from the very beginning.

"Can I ask you something, Aziraphale?"

"Anything you please, dear".

"How come you're not using a vessel?"

Aziraphale looks confused.

"My dear, do me a favour and say that again".

"I want to know how you got a body of your own".

Aziraphale crosses his legs, takes a sip of his tea and leans back on his comfy cushion chair. His little brother has always been a surprise. He examines him behind his glasses, and Castiel returns the look.

"Why are you asking me that, after all this time?"

"I apologise for invading your privacy", says Castiel and indeed, he isn't comfortable putting pressure on one of his favourite brothers. "I just really need to know. How did it happen? Can it happen again?"

"Do _you_ want a body of your own or you're asking on behalf of someone else?" asks Aziraphale, unsure of Castiel's intentions.

"No, it's for me", Castiel admits. "I am aware that it's probably a lot to ask you, but I would really like to know".

Aziraphale is really surprised. Nobody has ever asked him about this and he didn't expect anyone ever would. It was a big mess back then, things happened, nobody paid any attention. "Is there a specific reason, besides curiosity? Because I know you too well, my dear, and you're not the vain type who will do this just to impress someone".

"There is a reason", Castiel starts. But then he remembers Dean's words about lying when you want something very much, and he decides it's probably better if he doesn't tell his brother the whole truth. It's too strange. "I… I don't want to cause any more pain to my host. His name's Jimmy Novak, and he's not having a good time. He's a loyal man so he's accepted it, but I can't torture him anymore. Not when I'm so close to other human beings".

"I understand, dear", Aziraphale nods. "Now tell me the truth".

Castiel tilts his head. "I did not lie".

"Yes, you did", Aziraphale insists. "Or, at least, you're hiding the biggest part of your truth. You can't fool me, my dear. I was the one to teach you how vessels work and explain to you what happens to the people who take us in. I know you care about your host as I once cared about mine, but I also know that you and me both don't care as much as to not use our vessels. It's unnatural. I stayed inside poor Mr Smith for centuries, and in the end he just became a little voice behind my left ear. Very nice fellow. We had some wonderful talks sometimes. Mr Novak will find his place soon enough. He knew what was coming, or at least he suspected it. So don't give me this vessel rubbish". No matter his choice of words, Aziraphale's voice is more reassuring than solemn.

Castiel sighs awkwardly. Well, everyone knows Aziraphale is extremely clever; nothing escapes him. So Castiel will have to spill his guts out, eventually. Better get on with it.

He takes a deep breath. "I seem to have developed… certain feelings… for a human being", he says and Aziraphale blinks in surprise.

"You mean feelings like… falling in love?"

"I believe that is indeed the term, yes".

"That's wonderful, my dear!" says Aziraphale happily.

See, this is why Castiel chose Aziraphale for this talk. He's open-minded, he's cheerful, and rumour has it that he's been in love himself. So who could ever be better for this?

"So, what's the problem?" Aziraphale asks and leans forward in his chair.

"Well", Castiel starts, "that human happens to be male".

Aziraphale nods. "And?"

"And I'm inside a male vessel. You know how humans care a lot about gender", Castiel reminds his brother and Aziraphale makes a face.

"Of course, of course", he says. "I always forget. I never got how a few more or a few less pieces of meat determine someone's preferences or behaviour".

"The important thing is that they do, and the man I have feelings for, Dean –"

"Dean?" interrupts Aziraphale. "Are we talking about Dean Winchester here? Michael's almost-vessel?"

"Yes".

"Oh, that's precious. Good choice".

"Yes. Well, Dean… he has never showed any interest in another male", Castiel continues.

"But you're not male", protests Aziraphale. "You are a celestial being, you don't have a gender, let alone a physical sex!"

"Yes, but my vessel matters", insists Castiel and hesitates before he goes on. "Dean and I are very, very close. Yesterday night, I overheard Dean and his brother talking. Sam – Dean's brother – he said that if I had been inside a female vessel, then Dean would…" he clears his throat, "he would have shown an interest in me long ago".

"So why don't you look for a female vessel?"

"Because I do care about Jimmy Novak, as I will care for the girl that will be hosting me if I do that", Castiel explains. "And I would feel uncomfortable using a vessel for my… private personal business that has nothing to do with my work as a soldier of Heaven. It wouldn't feel right".

"Are you sure you would be comfortable in a female body?" asks Aziraphale. "It's fairly different from a male one, you know. There are hormones in there. Trust me, I've tried it".

"How different can it be?" shrugs Castiel. "I certainly don't mind, and I'm still the same person. I don't understand how it would affect the people I know besides getting used to a new appearance".

Aziraphale nods. "You're right", he says. "Have you told him what you want to do?"

Castiel shakes his head. "I thought it would be better if I didn't. Apparently, it will be a good thing and humans like it if good things happen when they least expect it".

"Oh, you're right, my dear. Everyone likes a surprise".

"So, can it be done?"

Aziraphale takes another sip of his tea. "To be honest with you, my dear, I'm not in the position to promise you anything", he admits. "It's not up to me. But I will do my best".

"Can you do it today?"

"What's the hurry, love?"

Castiel looks away. "It's Dean's birthday tomorrow. I wanted to surprise him, because he…" Castiel is so embarrassed that his voice is little more than a whisper, "…he said that he has never had a date on his birthday and he'd like that".

"Oh, dear, it's okay, you don't need to tell me any details if you don't want to", says Aziraphale and pats Castiel's shoulder. "I'm going to make a phone call, so you just wait here. Oh, and I don't want you to be upset when you find out who's the one that's going to help you, alright?"

"I asked for it", Castiel says. "If you trust that person, then so do I".

"Alright. Just give me a second, will you, dear?"

Castiel nods and Aziraphale leaves the room to go and find his mobile phone – yes, he owns a mobile now, thanks very much. He doesn't have many contacts – just Crowley, his best rare-book dealers, the Ritz and a couple of sushi restaurants; unlike Crowley, he likes calling for reservations. Not that a fully booked restaurant stops him from eating wherever he wants; he just feels better when he has at least _tried_ to get a table the traditional way.

He scrolls down his contacts; ah, there he is.

Adam Young.

It's been a while since Aziraphale has talked to Adam. The kid must be 33 years old right now and Aziraphale has no idea where he is or what he's doing, even though he suspects he's still just living the good life in Lower Tadfield. Crowley had found his phone number a couple of years ago, and they had talked, and Adam had showed interested in meeting again.

Aziraphale doesn't feel very comfortable asking for favours, but it's his little brother we're talking about. He calls the number.

…**Florence, AL – the motel…**

"Cas? Answer me, dammit!"

Dean has been yelling for some time now. His throat is completely dry. Castiel still doesn't answer. Dean turns at Sam angrily. His brother is finishing his to-go meal they took from a little place near the motel.

"Where the hell is he?"

"You've been asking me all morning, Dean", says Sam. "Maybe he's mad at you or something. Did you guys have a fight?"

"Why should it be my fault?"

"Because I know I didn't fight with him, and there's no angel business going on at this time, so he couldn't have left because of that", Sam analyses and Dean clenches his jaw.

"I still believe it's because of last night, you asshole", says Dean. "I'll bet you anything, he heard you talk that bullshit and he freaked out".

"What?" protests Sam. "There's no chance he heard what I said! And even if he did, I was only stating the obvious".

"Let's not go back to that talk, Sammy, cause I swear to God I'm gonna punch you".

"Why not talk about this?" Sam insists. "Okay, my attempts to talk to you last night might have failed because you were freaking wasted, but that's okay, I'm gonna make you listen now. Why don't you just accept that you're head over heels for Cas?"

"Dude, I'm gonna punch you in the crotch. Knock it off".

"Dean, seriously!" Sam explodes. "Try to understand that I'm not mocking you here! I'm not making the 'ha ha, Dean Winchester is gay' high school jokes. You and Cas… I don't know, you make sense! Call it _profound bond_, call it whatever you want, but I've seen how you look at each other and I'm tired of your shit!"

"Guess what, Sammy, I also happen to be tired of _your_ shit".

"Dude, just hear me out, okay?" Sam insists, determined to make Dean listen. "You guys are all over each other, and if one of you weren't a freaking awkward virgin angel of the Lord and the other a stubborn heteronormative jerk, you'd have been hitting it off for years now! I'm telling you again, man, just try to imagine how it would be if Cas was inside a girl-vessel. The only thing stopping you is that he's a guy, which I find completely stupid. You like each other more than either of us can describe, and Cas is never going to make a move cause he has no idea how. Just do it, man".

Dean is blushing as hell right now. "Dude, it's really not like that".

"Yeah, right. Like I don't have eyes".

"Sam, it's _Cas_ we're talking about! He's a freaking _angel_. He has no idea how human behaviour works. What you take as an invitation for sexy times could be just his way of communication".

"…which he turns on only when he's around _you_", Sam says and leans back on his chair, putting his legs on the table. "I haven't seen him acting like that around me, or invading anyone else's personal space like this. He can't hide his affections".

"Well, he's still an angel", insists Dean. "I'm pretty sure he's not even allowed to do anything like that. You should have seen him when he had to face a woman and have sex with her. He just can't do it".

"You mean when you took him to that brothel?"

"Yeah. The poor dude was freaking terrified".

"So he probably doesn't like women".

"Or he's completely indifferent to sex!"

"Not the romance, though. And maybe he likes sex with a man, you never know".

"Dude, Cas has been practically my best friend for years! How could I ever –"

"So you're just afraid that you'll ruin your friendship if you ask him out?"

"Dammit, Sam, stop doing that!"

"I'm just saying, Dean…" Sam opens his beer and takes a sip, then looks at it like it's the most interesting thing in the world. "Till now, you've listed a bunch of problems stopping you from going for it. Not once have you told me that the problem is that _you don't like him._"

Dean stares at his brother like he's been struck by lightning. He can practically hear his brain cells popping inside his head like popcorn.

"Son of a bitch", he mutters, he wipes some sweat from his forehead and sits heavily on his bed. Sam laughs.

"I'm telling you, man, go for it", says Sam and gets up, deciding to leave Dean alone for a while. "You'll feel better".

"I hate your guts right now, Sammy".

"You'll love me when you're dating the man of your dreams, bro", says Sam as he leaves. Fortunately, his reflexes are good enough for him to duck in time to avoid Dean's boot.

Dean lies in his bed, his palms covering his eyes, and stays like this for several hours. His brain is burning itself from overloading.

In the end, he decides he can't just stand there and wait. If Cas really did disappear because of Sam's bullshit (which, dammit, were quite correct), it's Dean's job to make sure the angel feels okay and to bring him back.

He dials Cas' number and calls him, without having the slightest idea what he's going to say.

…**Lower Tadfield, Adam's house…**

"So, Mr Ziraphale, is this your friend? Nice to meet you, Mr Castiel".

"Nice to meet you too, Adam", says Castiel and shakes the kid's hand.

Adam still lives in Lower Tadfield, just like Aziraphale thought. He's thirty-three and looks like he's eighteen. No wonder there; if you're the Antichrist and don't want to grow up, Peter Pan is doomed to cry at your success.

Adam looks like a little angel; not like a real one, but like the ones depicted in fairy tales. His curly blonde hair, big blue eyes and honest smile can make anyone trust him. He has a childish aura that makes him adorable. He still uses Aziraphale's alias, which makes him look very respectful of the image anyone wants to show. Castiel isn't fooled, of course; he has met an Antichrist before. Of course, this one is extremely powerful; but he looks like a nice guy, surprisingly. For goodness' sake, he lives in a village and spends his days buried inside his books. No wonder Aziraphale likes him. Even now, he brings the angels to his workshop-slash-desk-slash-library to talk, and offers to bring them some tea and biscuits, like he's used to having celestial entities in his house every day.

"So", he starts and shows the angels a couple of stools; they sit. "You are the one who wants a body of his own".

"Yes", says Castiel. "I don't have the right to ask you for favours, and I must admit I didn't trust your kind at all until very recently. So I will understand if you don't want to help me".

"Oh, don't be silly. I don't mind helping. I'm curious, though, why do you want a girl's body?" asks Adam. "I'm not judging, I'm just wondering; if you don't mind me asking".

"Personal reasons", says Castiel. "If you don't mind me not saying. But I don't have any dark purposes, I can promise you that. This is just for me".

"What do you want to do with the body you have now?" Adam asks again.

"This is just a vessel. I will let the man walk free and get back to his family, after wiping his memory so that they won't be able to interrogate him for information about me. Aziraphale will help me with this".

"I like that", says Adam and smiles. "So, do you want anything specific? Like, when I put back together Mr Ziraphale here, he was so accustomed to his old form that I didn't have to try to make a body for him; his whole essence remembered it. But you want something entirely different".

Castiel thinks about it. He remembers that Dean likes to look at the photos of women in a magazine that Castiel finds irritating; he decides Dean might like that, but he wouldn't be comfortable with being such a kind of girl. He also remembers a woman from a TV show he'd once glimpsed; she'd said something like, girls, be sexy to have many lovers, but the man appreciates you only if you have class. Or something like that. He has a good memory, but he wasn't really paying attention; he never thought he'd have to use such a piece of advice. He suddenly feels much attached to his vessel and starts feeling a little uncertain.

Nah. It's Jimmy or Dean. He definitely can't have both. He feels a vibration in his trench coat's pocket. He takes out his cell phone, only to see that Dean is calling him. He hesitates, but presses the red button. He texts a quick "Can't talk now, I'm visiting my brother in England. I'll be back tomorrow. Have to do something. Lol". He has no idea what "lol" means, but he's seen it being used in hundreds of similar messages, so he figures it must be a kind of greeting or saying goodbye.

He turns back at Adam. "So?" asks the kid.

"I don't know", says Castiel. "I haven't really thought about it, to be honest. I like my vessel's characteristics. I've grown accustomed to them".

"Alright, so we're looking for just a female version of you?"

"Probably".

"Anything you want me to take care of? Like, something your guy would like best?"

Castiel's jaw drops and looks at Aziraphale, who shrugs. He'd never told Adam anything about Dean. "How –"

"Lucky guess", says Adam and winks.

"Can we just skip –"

"Yes, yes, alright. Just think about what you want very strongly, and let me take care of the details, okay? You're gonna look great."

Castiel nods, suddenly feeling terribly nervous. He thinks about the things he likes about his vessel as he concentrates on the image of a female body, which he's not really familiar with. Adam said he'll take care of things, though. He closes his eyes and focuses.

He hears a thump.

"Oh, my". That's Aziraphale.

Castiel feels a breeze. He wonders what's going on.

"I think you can open your eyes", says Adam.

Castiel obeys and –oh, crap.

He looks at his vessel, lying on the floor, definitely breathing, but completely unconscious, his position like he fell from a stool. Which is exactly what happened.

He looks down on his own body.

No special effects. No lights. No pain. Nothing. He's just… there, sitting exactly in the same position. He –well, should he get used to say "she"? well, one thing at a time – is completely naked and unrecognisable.

He looks at Aziraphale, who is covering his mouth with his palm, looking quite amazed, and then at Adam, who seems pretty satisfied with the result. He's not lusting over Castiel, he's just looking at a job well done.

"Would you like a mirror?" Adam asks politely.

"Yes, I'd like that", answers Castiel and he's surprised at the sound of his voice. It's still quite deep for a woman, and he hasn't lost his gruffness completely, so it's familiar enough to work with, but it'll take some getting used to. He gets up, loses his balance and Aziraphale catches him. His new body is too new and it's a little numb. While he's walking, he realises there's a thick curtain of dark hair that disturbs his vision and tickles his forearms. He manages to follow Adam to a whole-body mirror, though.

Huh.

He kind of recognises the image he's used to seeing all these years. He's about an inch shorter, maybe a little more, but not as much as to feel uncomfortable. He's got an hourglass shape, but he's not that curvy. He puts his palms over his breasts and cups them perfectly. He leans towards the mirror to examine himself from up close. He has to push away a mass of tangled, messy dark hair and hold it up, in order to actually see his face. He's got the same skin tone, but his face looks a little lighter, because his stubble isn't there anymore. His eyes are practically the same. That's nice, he likes that blue. His characteristics are also pretty much the same, only a little more delicate, a little softer. He decides it really is a job well done and he actually feels comfortable. It'll only take him a while to get used to the female pronouns, because he really liked being a "he". Well, it doesn't matter.

Castiel looks at Adam. "Thank you", he says. "I hope I'll be able to pay you back someday".

"Don't worry about it", says Adam and he smiles. "It wasn't a big deal".

"I think I'll take care of poor Mr Novak here", says Aziraphale and lifts the unconscious body from the floor. "Oh, and by the way, I think you look gorgeous, my dear".

His smile is honest and that's exactly what Castiel needs right now. He looks at his vessel being taken away and he feels a hollow pain in his stomach. It feels completely ridiculous and it probably is, but he gets really sad in the thought of him not wearing that trench coat ever again. He realises that he already misses the body of Jimmy Novak; he also realises that there's no voice in the back of his head now. It's all him inside here. That makes him feel a little better.

"So", says Adam as he throws Castiel a T-shirt and a pair of boxers as a temporary solution to his nakedness, "how should we call you now?"

Castiel tilts his head. "I don't understand".

"Well, shouldn't you have like, a girl name"?

"My name's Castiel".

"Yes, I know, but it sounds _male_".

"It's my name".

"Shouldn't you at least spell it differently? Like, Castiel-l-e, or something?"

"No. My name doesn't change".

Adam shrugs. "Whatever you say, mate. Gal. Sorry".

Castiel gets dressed and waits for Aziraphale. Until his brother comes back, he's examining his hair. It feels weird, almost heavy. And is he supposed to do something with all these knots in there, or will it stay like this? He wonders if he's allowed to cut his hair in the length he's used to; then he remembers it's _his _body and he can do whatever the hell he wants with it, whenever he wants to, and that thought makes him give his hair another chance. He splits it in two with some difficulty, and then ties it in a knot-like ponytail on his neck.

Aziraphale comes back and Castiel looks at him.

"How is he?" Castiel asks, honestly concerned.

"Very well, he's just sleeping", Aziraphale reassures him. "He will be okay, but it'll take some time. He's had an Archangel inside him for years, he's sort of _supposed_ to be exhausted, the poor thing".

Castiel nods. He really hopes Jimmy will be alright.

"So when are you going back to your guy?" asks Adam.

"He's not _my guy_", says Castiel. "But I'm planning to go back tomorrow".

"Then you have the time to look for some clothes", Adam suggests. "You can't seduce the guy in my old underwear. No chance".

Aziraphale's face brightens. "Oh, I can take you shopping! There are some lovely shops downtown –"

"No, not you", says Adam and laughs. "She's looking for something to look good in", he continues and it takes Castiel a couple of seconds to realise the kid is talking about him. "Even twenty years ago, when I met you, tartan was out of fashion, and you haven't changed your wardrobe since then. Don't deny it, I know nothing of clothes and I still can tell".

Aziraphale's face is like a cartoon. "Alright", he says, the disappointment in his voice almost solid. "But I think I know the right person for the job".

He takes out his mobile and calls the first number on his speed dial.

…**back to Florence, AL, again in the motel…**

"Dean?"

Dean looks at his brother but doesn't answer.

"Did you move at all last night?"

Dean just looks at the ceiling again and doesn't answer.

"Is it because of Cas?"

"Dude". Dean's voice sounds hoarse.

"Cause you know, just because you happened to like a guy doesn't mean you're gay, it just means you might be bi, or you just have your exceptions. No need to freak out".

"Dude. Shut up".

"Anyone could fall for someone like Cas, man, he's done all these things for you, I mean, it kinda makes sense".

"Dude, seriously. I'm gonna shoot you".

Sam shuts it, but it doesn't take long before he can't hold it in.

"So, did you call him?"

"Sam, dammit!"

"Sorry, sorry. I won't talk again. But did you?"

Dean groans. He knows there's no getting out. "Yeah, Sammy, I called him".

"Alright!" It's unbelievable how happy Sam is about this. Dean supposes he should feel thankful, and one day maybe he will. But him and Cas aren't even a thing yet and Sam is already planning what he's gonna wear as the best man. "So what did he say?"

Dean sighs. "Nothing, Sammy. He hung up and texted me". He takes out his cell and reads out loud. "'_Can't talk now, I'm visiting my brother in England. I'll be back tomorrow. Have to do something. Lol'._ Is it just me or do you also think that he has no idea what LOL means?"

Sam does his best to not laugh. "So that's good, he'll be back for your birthday! I can leave you two alone, if you want".

"No, Sammy", Dean groans. He can feel his cheeks flaming red. "We'll just have some good time, the three of us, that's all. Maybe we should drive to Bobby's, I dunno, I'd like to have my friends around".

"Weren't you the one who said – and I quote – that you wanted to get laid on your birthday?"

"Yeah, and I suppose hitting on a virgin angel dude that I don't even know if he likes me back sounds like the best idea ever". Dean realises it's the first time he actually admits he likes Cas and his face turns even redder, but well, what can you do. If only Sam didn't have that pleased cat-smile of victory in his stupid face.

"Well, I say go for it", says Sam and throws Dean some packaged pie to cheer him up. "It's a great chance".

"Well, I say I do nothing", says Dean, opens the package and takes a bite. God, it's good, but he's not gonna tell Sammy until at least the afternoon has come and passed. "I'll just… y'know, test the water first".

"Come on, man, you're good at this and you two belong together!"

"Yeah", murmurs Dean, "that's why I don't want to screw it up".

Sam doesn't give a sign if he's heard that or not, but his smile doesn't leave his face.

Dean promises to himself that if Sam makes Cas give him condoms for his birthday or anything like that, he'll shave his freaking sideburns off while he's sleeping and shove them inside the socks he's planning to wear the next morning.

…**London, Oxford street…**

"Well, well. The infamous Castiel. Nice meeting you, at last".

Castiel is a little tired of meeting new people, but he shakes Crowley's hand. The name makes him feel a little weird – are demons planning this or what? – but Aziraphale trusts this person with his life; a shopping trip is something too simple.

"You've heard of me?" Castiel asks as he walks into the backseat of the vintage car that Crowley likes to drive – Aziraphale said it's called a Bentley. The way Crowley looks at his car behind his sunglasses reminds Castiel vaguely of Dean, and he decides that Crowley might not be that bad. Crowley turns on the music and smiles.

"Of course I have", he answers to Castiel's question. "Castiel, the angel who truly didn't fall, but sauntered vaguely downwards". He laughs. "They used to say that about me, but I think the description suits you, if the rumours are true".

Castiel doesn't know if that's a good or a bad thing, so he doesn't answer. Crowley isn't one of those demons that Castiel has an urge to exorcise at once, he seems like a good guy, but he confuses him. He is one of the first demons, one of the few angels that actually walked the path of Lucifer; he's not a human who sold his soul and became a demon in the process. But him and Aziraphale are more than best friends, the rumours are now proven to be true, and Castiel can only trust him. He just turns his attention to the music; apparently, the singer is in love with his car. Castiel mentally notes to ask Crowley about that song, Dean might like it. It is almost a joke, and Castiel feels really good for thinking about it.

Crowley parks the car and they all get out. "Here we are", he says, "Oxford street. Whatever Aziraphale suggests you buy, you just don't. You listen to me, okay?"

Castiel just nods. He realises people are staring, even though he wears sweatpants over his boxers; he doesn't understand what's so weird about him. He hopes to reach a store soon, though, because the pavement feels really bad on his bare feet.

…

Castiel and Aziraphale stay at Crowley's apartment that night. Surprisingly, the demon's a good company. Jimmy Novak is asleep on the couch and Castiel makes sure to not look at him, because his nostalgia kicks in. Aziraphale and Crowley make sure to make him feel like home, though, and even though the apartment is definitely not what you'd call cosy or even friendly, Castiel actually finds himself feeling quite good with company that isn't Dean and Sam, as unexpected as this is. Crowley makes sushi, which Castiel has never tried, much to Aziraphale's shock. Aziraphale manages to untangle Castiel's hair, God knows how, while Castiel is admiring the wonderful plants in the apartment. He doesn't remember ever having seen such amazing plants in an internal space. He does feel something negative coming from them, though. He's dizzy from the body swapping and goodness, the "shopping" – how do people do that? – so he doesn't really trust his instincts at the moment. How could the plantsbe _possibly_ screaming for help?

The night passes quite pleasantly. The food is good, and the company is good, and Crowley's music taste is good; Castiel even recognises a couple of songs from Dean's playlists. Crowley also takes care of Castiel's fake papers; Dean had made some for him, but the face on them doesn't agree with the one in the mirror.

The next morning Crowley takes the angels back to the bookstore and says his goodbyes to Castiel. He reminds him to come visit anytime he's in England again, and Castiel reassures him that he will. The weird thing is that he means it. He decides he would like to introduce Dean and Sam to Aziraphale and Crowley, and most probably to Adam too. Crowley leaves, and the two angels chat for a while – Castiel's got plenty of time until Dean's birthday, it's early in the morning here and he's got the time difference to consider; Dean is probably sleeping now.

Adam calls Aziraphale's bookstore in the afternoon, and gives Castiel his number.

"If you need anything, just call me and I'll pop in and fix it, 'kay? A new body can be tricky".

"Thank you. I shall return the favour if I ever have the chance".

Time passes fast. Castiel finds a couple of text messages on his phone from Dean ("Cas, where are you? I wanna talk to you when you get home, OK? Btw, don't use LOL again. Have fun." And "Just call me when you can, will you? We'll be at the Shades Bar in Florence tonight. Alabama, not Italy. We'll be waiting, OK? I want you to be here tonight, man. Have fun"). He answers with a simple "I will be back soon" and tries to ignore the knot in his stomach. He's still in his T-shirt and sweatpants, but at least he's wearing shoes.

He eventually says goodbye to Aziraphale and thanks him for everything, then flies back to America.

…**mostly Florence, AL…**

Castiel takes Jimmy Novak home and takes a last look at him before he knocks the door and disappears. He's sure his ex-vessel is going to be fine now. He deserves to be fine.

Castiel zaps to Florence, Alabama. He finds their motel quite easily and gets a room for himself. It's the first time he's actually doing this, every other time he's been with Dean and Sam and it all looked much easier. He makes it, though, and his new ID looks fine, so in a few minutes he's got his key.

Castiel enters his room and leaves down the backpack of clothes that Aziraphale and Crowley have gotten him. He decides it's about 12-14 hours until Dean starts celebrating his birthday, which means 12-14 hours to get used to a new body.

Castiel takes off his clothes and looks at the mirror. He's – no, he reminds himself – _she_'s got to get used to this. He – no, she, no –dammit, who cares. He looks good, and his face reminds him a lot of Jimmy; he needs to keep reminding himself of that. Only the female pronouns feel weird. He's not supposed to have a gender alright, but somehow it was easier when he had to get used to the male ones and he just can't seem to be able to let go. He tries to shrug it off; human rules. He hopes it won't matter in a while.

He spends the day exploring his body, learning it. He reminds himself that at least, it's his own – Jimmy is finally home, where he belongs, and Castiel himself is free to do whatever he wants with his body without worrying about his host. It's actually a great feeling.

When the sun is going down, Castiel remembers Aziraphale's advice and takes a shower, and then tries to make sense of the mess that is his new clothes. He puts on a sports bra to stop the ridiculous bouncing feeling, and he tries on those girl boxers – he had felt far too uncomfortable to buy anything else, no matter how Crowley advised him towards something entirely different. He tries several combinations of clothes, but it all feels too unfamiliar. Soon he gets bored and just settles for a pair of black jeans, a blue sweater and a pair of flat black boots. He looks at the pile of clothes and takes out the only item he picked himself – a beige trench coat. It's girly fit and much shorter and, well, cleaner than his old one, but it feels a little familiar. He remembers that Crowley reminded him again and again to be seductive, to wear that pair of high heels maybe, wear some make up, guys usually like that stuff. Castiel just looks at the mirror and can't imagine anything else on him. He just starts pulling his hair back in a ponytail, but as he has pulled back half of it, he decides he likes it this way and makes a ponytail of the upper half of his hair. He takes his cell and puts it in his coat's pocket, making a face as he realises the pocket's not half as deep as he's used to. He gets out of the room and asks the receptionist where the bar named Shades is, she gives him some instructions and he nods as a thank you. He gets out of the motel and zaps in the alley behind the bar.

…**Florence, AL – Shades Bar…**

"Still no news?"

"Dude, for the hundredth time, no, Cas hasn't called".

"I think he'll surprise you".

"I think he has no idea what a surprise is, at least not in the birthday kind of way".

"That brother of his might have given him some advice".

"Do you even remember what his other brothers look like?"

"Still. You never know".

"Well, I think I know, and nothing's happening. Just let it go before a cute girl or something hears you".

"What, you're planning to just confirm your manhood by hooking up with a random girl? Like nothing happened?"

"Nothing _has_ happened, Sammy".

Sam shakes his head, disappointed. "You're such an ass, Dean", he says and Dean turns his eyes on him. "Why can't you accept your feelings, just for once?"

Dean shifts on his stool. "Look, I've been thinking about this, Sammy, and it just won't work".

"Bull", says Sam. "Y'know, sometimes it takes bigger balls to look a man in the eye and tell him 'know what, I'm willing to go gay for you' than this shit you're pulling. You could be happy for once, and you're throwing it all away because of your damn pride". Sam finishes his drink and leaves Dean alone with his irritation for a while.

Dean focuses on his drink. Sam's crazy. Yeah, Dean's into Cas, but… well, these things don't happen. Maybe they shouldn't happen. He could never tell Cas anything. Sam's words are imprinted on his brain, though. He orders another glass of whiskey, drinks it in one gulp and then orders another one, just to make the little Sam on his shoulder shut the fuck up.

Dean looks around him. There are a couple of cute girls over _there, _who are tapping their fingers in the rhythm of –seriously? – "sweet home Alabama". Maybe he should make a move. He puts his drink down and moves towards the two girls, and – whoops, time to go back to his seat. They probably wouldn't hear him over the sound of their sudden make-out session. Honeymoon period, Dean decides and sits back on his stool, scanning the area.

…

Castiel walks inside the bar. He notices that people are staring, but doesn't pay attention. He looks around, looking for one of the Winchesters. He sees no heads sticking out of the crowd, so he guesses they're not here yet – not Sam, anyway –, or that the bar really is too crowded. Once more, he wonders why humans seem to like these places this much.

"Hey, gorgeous", he hears a voice from somewhere in his right, but he doesn't pay attention.

"Are you looking for someone?" the voice insists and Castiel turns around, more because it's an instinct to turn around when somebody calls anybody than because he actually thinks anyone's addressing him. The man talking is in his thirties; he's a little shorter than Castiel, he wears clothes that remind Castiel of Crowley, and he's smiling in a disturbing way.

"Are you addressing me?" Castiel asks, and is once again surprised at the sound of his own voice. The man's smile widens.

"Of course, dollface", he says. "Did your boyfriend stand you up?"

Castiel stares at him. "Did you just tell me I have the characteristics of a toy?"

The man is caught off guard. "What?"

"I'm going to leave now", Castiel says indifferently and goes on his way between the people. He is tempted to call for Dean, but he doesn't think that's how a surprise works.

…

Dean scans the bar for Sam, who seems to have disappeared. He hopes his little brother has found something pleasant to do, but he can't help the boredom. He orders another drink and looks around for something interesting.

And there it is. There's a girl looking around, like she's searching for something. Dean is sure she reminds him of someone, and if he didn't have that last glass of whiskey, probably he could put his finger on it.

To Dean's surprise, her stare focuses on him and her face brightens. She starts coming towards him. Well, Cas lost his chance, he thinks, and immediately the little fucking Samminy Cricket on his shoulder goes nuts. _You're the one to decide if Cas has lost his chance or not, you jerk, _he shouts and Dean knows the little bitch is right. So yeah, he'll probably pass this one.

He decides to be nice to the girl, though. Who knows, she might be lost or something. When she approaches him, he smiles.

"Hi there", he greets. "Are you looking for something?"

"Actually, I was looking for you", she says and Dean has this strange feeling in his stomach. Great, he thinks. A job, most probably. The perfect crappy ending to a perfect crappy day.

"What for?" he moans.

The girl looks at him as he takes a sip from his drink. "It's me, Dean".

Dean looks at her eyes and chokes on his scotch, almost falling off his stool. That soul-piercing stare can't possibly belong to anyone else.

"_Cas?"_

"Yes, it's me".

"Jesus fucking Christ, what happened?"

"Don't blaspheme in my presence, Dean".

Yep, definitely Cas. It's not a joke. Dean doesn't know if he should panic or laugh.

"Cas, you're…" he clears his throat. "You're a _girl_".

"Yes, I am aware of that".

"Are you inside Jimmy Novak's twin sister of something? Because man, you creep me out. You're exactly the same, only with boobs".

Castiel looks at himself, looking a little awkward. "I'm not exactly the same".

"Yeah, but you look like _you_", says Dean. Damn, this is disturbing. He gulps the rest of his drink at once.

"Okay", he says as he throws the money on the bar and gestures at the bar tender. "Let's go. We need to get out of here".

"Why?" Castiel asks. Dammit, he sounds strange. "I thought you wanted to be here today".

"This is more important. Zap us to the motel".

Castiel does as he's told, and they're inside Dean and Sam's motel room in a second.

Dean takes a moment to get used to the sudden silence, his eyes still ringing from the noise of the bar. He examines Cas from tip to toe.

Dean can't deny that the girl he's inside is really attractive, and she actually looks like Cas in a very weird way. The blue sweater she's wearing makes her eyes look like they're glowing. The expressions, the way she moves, they're all still the same as before. Yet, that's not Cas. Not the one Dean is used to, anyway.

"So, what happened?" he asks. "Anyone attacked you in England?"

Castiel tilts his head. God, Dean feels like he's looking at a mime. "Attacked me?"

"Yeah, man, who did this to you? Where is Jimmy?" Dean asks. "Or is this like, someone turned Jimmy into a girl and you're still in there?"

Cas frowns. "Jimmy Novak is safe with his family".

"What, you switched vessels and you went for a gender swapped doppelganger or something?"

"This isn't a vessel, Dean".

Dean blinks. "Don't tell me this is your true form, because yeah, okay, you're hot, but not as much as to burn someone's eyes out. No offence".

Cas seems to be losing his patience. Good. Time to see if it's really him in there. "Don't be ridiculous".

"I'm not the one wearing a bra".

Cas sighs. "This is a sort of vessel, but there's no human being inside. It's a body made for me so that I wouldn't have to possess anyone in order to have a physical form. Are you satisfied?"

"Well, sort of", Dean says. It's still confusing as fuck. "I didn't know you could do that".

"I had to pull a few strings".

"Why do this now, though?" Dean asks. "And why choose to be inside a girl? I thought you were kinda genderless or something. And to be honest, I thought you liked being a dude".

Cas seems embarrassed. "Yes, but I thought you'd like it".

Dean opens his mouth to talk, but he freezes. It strikes him, all at once, all too sudden.

He starts laughing uncontrollably.

"You're mocking me", Cas says and the look on his face is like a disappointed child's.

"No, no", Dean reassures him, still laughing. "Cas, did you do this for me?"

His blushing gives Dean the answer he's looking for.

"Jesus, Cas. If you liked me, you should have just told me. You didn't need to do that!"

"But I don't mind", Cas says. "And if this was the only way for you to feel comfortable with me –"

"You're such an idiot", says Dean, but he's smiling. "I didn't want you to change for me, Cas. I have already told you that. _Never change_. Never for me. I really like you too, you know. You didn't need to do this to _convince_ me to like you".

Cas frowns. "But I thought you liked girls".

Dean approaches Cas and strokes his cheek awkwardly, then lifts his chin to look into his eyes. "Well, yeah, I do. But I like _you_ more, dumbass", he says and he feels his heart pounding. "Now go fix yourself so I can go gay for you".

Castiel smiles and looks at his feet, probably too embarrassed to talk. Dean smiles back.

"I need to make a call", Castiel says.

…**Shades Bar, Florence, AL, about an hour later…**

Nothing seems to have changed in the bar.

The music is still the same old rock songs, with the occasional "All Summer Long" in between, as if they want to make a cheesy reminder that they're actually in Alabama.

"This was indeed a great idea, love", says a man who looks like he really, really does not belong in there. He pushes away a blond curl from his eyes and puts his glasses back in place before he takes a sip from his glass of red wine.

"Yes, America is fun", answers a well-dressed man who would look like he belonged, if he wasn't wearing sunglasses inside a bar at night. He drinks a little of his own wine and takes a look towards the other side of the bar.

"You know, I'm really happy for them", says Aziraphale, following Crowley's look.

"Yeap", the demon agrees. "Seems your little brother didn't have to go through all that trouble to get his guy. And, you know, he really looks better as a man. Although he'll probably get in trouble if he ever stumbles across his old vessel".

"Yes, it's funny how he chose to go back to being exactly the same", comments Aziraphale.

"He reminds me of someone I know", says Crowley and winks. "Anyway, it seems like both him and the Winchester boy like it this way".

"Funny thing, humans", Aziraphale murmurs vaguely as he turns away at the sight of what looks like Castiel and Dean Winchester's awkward first kiss. "At least it worked".

"Should we let him know we're here?" asks Crowley.

"Oh, my dear, you truly are evil", announces Aziraphale. He raises his glass. "To… unexpected and strangely incompatible love partners that end up being perfect for each other, I guess", he suggests.

Crowley laughs. "To the most awfully stated and most painfully true toast ever", he says and clings his glass on Aziraphale's.

They both drink and decide to forget about the new couple at the other side of the bar. Their job is done.

Time for some fun of their own.

_**Epilogue**_

…_**inside a motel room with a blue tie on its doorknob…**_

_Dean closes his eyes and sighs, his smile still as wide as ever. He feels Cas' cheek rubbing on his shoulder as the angel gets comfortable in his kind-of sleep, and Dean's surprised once again at how much he doesn't mind the stubble._

_He looks at Castiel and still can't tell why he wouldn't have him as a girl. _

_He decides it doesn't matter._

_He puts his arm around Cas' waist and smiles._

_Yeap. Best birthday ever._


End file.
